Is it so wrong? A poem.

A poem that reflects so many adoptees feelings.

Written by my friend Jennie.

Is it so wrong

To speak out

To SCREAM and SHOUT

Rant and rave

Or should we take this pain

To the grave?

Some say it’s just a stage

Something that comes

At a certain age

We can call it anger

But don’t ever call it rage!

Be grateful -

Life could have dealt

A much crueler hand

Better to join with the happy band

And give thanks

What happens then

To the feelings left within

How long shall we pretend

That we’re made of tin?

Always smiling, always happy

To be freed from sin

You are no expert

On our life

Have you lost your family?

Or borne our strife?

Why do you tell us

You hear our pain?

How can you say that

When our loss

Has been your gain?

Now there’s a truth

That’s rarely told

Bet that makes

Your blood run cold

We give you your status

Make you feel whole

Give you a title

Provide your role

It isn’t enough.

You demand more

And we must deliver

Though our hearts are sore

From the loss and grief

Never-ending pain

Real-life nightmares

Which bring you relief

The loss you once felt

Has now gone away

But your bitterness

Remains to this day

And we must pay

For the babies you wanted

But never could have

Why must our wounds

Provide your salve?

You clean us up, dress us up

Give us a new name . . .

Faith, Joy, Charity

Nothing of our identity

Is allowed to remain

That reality must die

To make way

For the cleaner, whiter version

One great, big lie

But our truth carries on

We keep it alive

This charade will soon end

For now, we survive

And when we speak out

When we SCREAM and SHOUT

We won’t hide our pain

No, we won’t feign

Gratitude and happiness

No more concealing

All of our distress

And what do you say

To these powerful words?

Will you call us ungrateful,

Miserable curs?

You who save children

Such angels, what saints!

Shelter yourselves

From such devilish taints

Spoken by those

Who weren’t heaven sent

Have you forgotten

Who we represent?

We are the past

Of the future you hold

What will you say

When THEIR stories

Are told?

Will you attack them,

Call them names?

When they speak out

Will they too be shamed?

No, not again

Not another generation

Stained by the sins

Of lies, secrecy and deceit

We lay that burden at your feet

And heed what we say:

Do not let their young souls

Suffer this way!

You say we’re ungrateful

This isn’t true

The only ingratitude lies within you

We give you our selves

And what do you do?

You tell us stories

Things you suppose

All kinds of fallacy

Of things you’ll never know.

Make-believe stories

Dreamed up in your heads

We cling to these visions

At night, in our beds.

How cruel, how unkind

To tell these tales

To distort young minds!

But you keep on pretending

Cherish the lies you keep

For this is what you need

To help you sleep

Never thinking that your stories

Cause us to weep

What honor does this bring

To the suffering we’ve felt

Can you call this respect

For the lives we’ve been dealt?

How have we been saved?

When it is your souls

Which are so depraved?

You build your stairway to heaven

On the backs of little children

And what of our origin?

The fiber of who we are

The essence of our identity?

What of our kin?

You tell us they are poor

Illiterate, simple, unclean

Dregs of society

Not fit to be seen.

Yet we exist

In their stead

And your hateful words

Echo in our heads

Fill our hearts

With self-loathing

And disgust

Is this respect?

No, this is unjust

You need us to worship you

And we, we are willing

But you won’t accept this

Without first killing

The beauty within

The tie that connects us

To the place you call sin

Angels in adoption

You need such acclaim?

Does these titles help you

Allay your shame

For delivering so little

And telling your lies

In spite of imploring

Innocent eyes

© Pushpa Duncklee and Pushpa’s Blog, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pushpa Duncklee and Pushpa’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.