The aromatic incense swirls under my nose while the woman’s abyssal voice sings to the gods…her deep moans of faith reverberate through that which is immortal in me. An energy draws from within my soul to bring forth hope and the desire to do my part to make this world a better place.
Something I often hear is “aren’t you glad you have a better life?” Many adoptees have heard this from the moment they were adopted. It always sounds to me as a judgement…what is a better life? I don’t really know how to respond to that except by saying “how do we know what a better life is?” I am the one who has lived this life without my family but with so many opportunities and with my adoptive family but I cannot even answer this question. Material things are wonderful, food is a necessity(a luxury for some), shelter is a necessity(also a luxury for some), education is also a luxury for some, but what is family? There is the need for biological family, that which you connect on a genetic level and there is the need for people who are there for you and take care of you when you are unable. How do we define a better life? Is it to have opportunities and things or does it include love,roots and culture?
The “talk” within the Internet communities about adoption and these children we all keep hearing about that were adopted illegitimately keeps bringing up this issue of “what is better for the child?” Some cases the child has been living under this false pretense of that the adoption was above board but then the truth comes out and then what? Do we send the child back to a life in poverty by our standards to live with their “real” families or do we keep them here because we have provided a “better life” for them?
In some cases the money is what is at the heart of this issue. Money traded for a child, a human with real feelings and a life to live. There is so much at stake for all who are concerned in adoption and that is why the value of that soul can be really high to the commodities trader.
Put a price on your soul, your spirit, your life. What dollar amount will make you feel good? What is your worth? We as adoptees know there is a price stamped on our forehead of how much our parents spent to get us. It is just difficult sometimes to swallow that there was money exchanged for my life, my soul.
As for the majority of adoptive families, money is not an issue because they have the best of intentions and would do anything, they are operating based on emotions.
In the psychology of business the emotional buyer is the one who is best and easiest to “close the deal” with.
Regardless of how my experience with my adoption has been I can’t help but wonder if all of us adoptees are commodities in a game of trade and a “better life” is the justification. A price for my soul.
© Pushpa Duncklee and Pushpa’s Blog, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pushpa Duncklee and Pushpa’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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