My mother and I at the Shiva temple
The dancing god in my meditative minds eye is Shiva(auspicious one), swaying too and fro like a refreshing, gentle, crashing wave lapping on the broken shores of the Pacific Northwest. He is the one who is the duality of destroying and rebirthing. His praying hands spark above his head as he sways like a seductive snake. What is it that he has come for? He has come to bring peace and serenity to the inner soul and to show that there is power in peace from within.
Be true to thyself and all things come out of this loyalty to the self. The inner unraveling shows through authenticity and passion.
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Since I began a new journey in yoga I have come to the realization that it is difficult to come to that authentic place when I am so muddled with duality.
Reverberating background Indian music sung only in Hindi summons that “Indian part of me” deeply buried that slithers to the surface as if to remind me “I am here, have you forgotten me?”
I miss this part of me; the peaceful relaxed okay with myself one. Where does it go? I wonder…
This is just another visit to let me know the other half of me still exists only to succumb to survival and withdrawing so as to live according to the rules of my other half, the well put together oh so Westernized woman with not a hint of Indian heritage.
The duality of international adoption…survival and authenticity.
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